Tobin McDanel Godsey

We had our 4th child yesterday, 05/15/2011 at 10:45am. Crysta is a trooper. This was our first home birth and a wonderful experience. While I can't claim to know the answer for all people in all times and every situation, it was clear for us, having this baby at home was the path set before us.

Eight years ago when Crysta delivered our first boy, Noah, she labored for nearly 48 hours in a very cold hospital in Gilory, California. The labor was exceptionally difficult and the discomfort of not being allowed to eat or labor in a warm room, added to the stress. The nurses were wonderful and the midwife was fantastic. (In California midwives are allowed to deliver in hospitals.) Even still, we felt like we misunderstood the whole process and something was lost in the experience. Our second child, Wyatt, born in Austin, Texas was a much faster delivery, but we were so scared from the struggle we experienced in the first birth we just went along with the standard protocol designed by the modern medical community and had Wyatt in a hospital with a regular OB. Even though the delivery was fast by comparison and the labor was smooth, we knew we were still missing something important. We felt trapped by our options and just tried not to dwell on the experience, instead focused attention on our new baby boy. Several years later, when Crysta became pregnant with our third child she was determined to have her baby the way she had first felt for Noah, and knew the only way it was going to happen was to somewhat disconnect with the standard medical community. She found a midwife and gave birth to Sam with her Sister, Mom and Cousin in attendance at a small birthing center in South Austin. It was one of the most enriching experiences of our lives. We felt like we had touched something spiritual about the birthing process that we had missed in our previous deliveries. Sooner than expected, Crysta became pregnant with our 4th child. We knew the experience of the previous three births and this time felt we should have this baby at home in our bed in Waco, Texas. We touched something spiritual through the natural birthing process. The struggle, the labor and finally the birth of our 4th son, Tobin McDanel Godsey, has filled us with wonder and awe at the miracle of life. Ironically, this delivery was the quickest for Crysta yet. Perhaps it is because this is her fourth delivery, or perhaps it is just a blessing from God, but Crysta went into hard labor at about 6:00am and we were holding our new baby boy by 10:45am. Amazing.

To be clear this story is about my struggle and Crysta's struggle to obey the call of God on our lives. The call on our lives is not the call on other people's lives. The fact that we believe God has called us to participate in his covering and grace through the miracle of home birth doesn't mean we feel everyone who doesn't is wrong. Or that we feel that hospital births are outside of God's covering for everyone else. Nor do we feel that we are somehow in better tune to God because we had a home birth. All of those things are prideful and arrogant. We believe God speaks specifically to people about their path and their struggle. What God has called us to may not be what God is calling another. We do feel that we and everyone should struggle to find God's redeeming will in every situation, and thank goodness God is a God of redemption. He can take every poor decision of mine from the past and redeem it into something good for his kingdom in the future.

We want to have a spiritually led family, and make spiritually led decisions. This has been foundational for us since we first met in college and prayed together the very first time in my dorm room in February of 1999 that God would lead our relationship and guide us into his spirit and truth. For much of my life this has been a subtle undertone, almost undetectable by many of my friends and family. In recent years Crysta and I have felt that if our spiritual relationship is going to be foundational, then it is going to affect every part of our lives. This awakening for us has brought many changes to our family and come as a shock to many of our friends and family. It makes me sad to know I concealed the spiritual focus of my life so well and for so long that, changing my life to bring it in line what was I have felt to be true for many years has startled people. I guess I should have been living in line with my convictions more clearly the whole time.

At any rate, our boy is here, we love him. Thank you to all our family for your thoughts and prayers. We are going to try to raise this child the very best we know how, teach him to fear the Lord and give him every opportunity to find the will of God for his life. We ask our friends and family to participate with us in the journey.